The Reluctant Quitter

Well, I have nearly got through a month. It has been up and down on stress levels for me and my family, but apart from the odd puff here and there I personally think I have done remarkably well. However when the time comes I will also have to try and give up the patches. I forgot to wear one last week for a day, and I was a bit more stressed in work than I would have liked to have been. Think my team noticed too!!!!! But I will ask the doctor for another prescription now, on the lower dose. After nearly a month I would suggest to anyone try and give up. My nerves were about the fear of not knowing if I could cope, but as I said it has been hard but I have succeeded. I have also saved myself at least £130.00 so far and thats not even a full month. I treated myself to new clothes as a treat. I will now start saving for a holiday in the new year.

Good luck to everyone who has commented that they are trying and thank you for your lovely emails of support. Go on give it a go.

I WOULD LOVE A CIGARETTE TODAY. No idea why but can't get it out of my mind. I've been good but these bad days come and they are tough to handle.

Ok apart from that one I had last weekend. I haven't had any since. Getting used to sitting by my friends when they are having a cigarette is getting slightly easier, but it all tends to depend on how I am feeling that day. It's still very very hard. Still determined.

Not sure why, but I'm finding hard the last hour, bit fed up today and really feel like a cigarette. Instead I had some chocolate, won't have one, but have it in my head it may cheer me up!!

I have to say I'm so proud of myself. I went out with my girl mates last night for a meal in a pub, I had a great night as we all haven't been together since Christmas, but two of them kept popping outside for a cigarette, and I didn't go. The smell is getting to me, it turns nasty after a while. It was very strange getting used to lager in one hand and not having a cigarette in another, but it also felt very good.

Walked in through the gates of work this morning, the amount of cigarette ends on the pavement outside is incredible!!!! Really not very attractive.

Not too bad, doing well although I am sure I will be reminded at some point that I have had one. Again ok, carrying on with life as normal, trying not to think about the fact I used to smoke. Trying to fill my mind with other things. Just wanted to say thank you to my partner and family for putting up with me, whilst i'm quitting.
Also thank you for the messages from James, it is nice to know there are people out there going through the same experience.

Off to the pub tonight with all my girl mates for a meal. This will be a challenge!!! But I am confident I will stay in the pub when they have to all pop outside. I wish it was raining or snowing at least I could laugh at them.

Well Tuesday in work is nearly over and again no cigarettes. Is this really me, now a non smoker???

I must say there are a few more cigarette ends on pavements lately, or am I just looking out for them!!

Well, I had 5 days off work, which included lunch out at a pub.
However, let me take you back though to Thursday and Friday, I had 2 dreadful days. I have a very stressful situation going on at the moment with problems with a used car I have bought. I managed to get through Thursday even though friends visited and smoked in our back garden, I could smell the fresh smoke coming through the window. (fresh smoke and stale smoke smells completely different). On Friday I visited the garage with my partner Phil, and oh bless him he has had the ups and downs of me giving up, even though up until Thursday it had been very easy. Friday, yes, I will admit I turned into a devil, I felt like the girl in the Exorcist. So I decided after speaking to my step mum, that it was either I had a cigarette or took my terrible mood out on Phil. After a few bad hours for Phil, I had a cigarette. I thought it would be lovely and that I would want to smoke again. But no, I didn't appreciate it as much as I thought I would. It did calm me down, (for a minute) but it made me realise that I can live without smoking. So as of one on Friday that has been it.
I'm not thinking having one is a terrible mistake, I'm only human afterall. One cigarette instead of 160, which is what I would have at least smoked if I hadn't given up, I think is amazing, so I'm not beating myself up about it, just putting it in the past.

So here is Tuesday my first full week and a day of not smoking and I'm still very confident that I will succeed. I also worked out I have saved at least £42.00 in the 8 days. That's £42 towards a holiday. Think my partner will need one for putting up with me giving up.

Good luck to you all, and thanks for your comments. Please write more comments as I do believe by writing this blog it is making me carry on.

Off now for a few days. The Easter weekend is a lovely long weekend. Instead of sitting at home sulking about not being able to smoke i'm going to keep myself busy with a day trip in the fresh air and doing jobs that have needed doing for a while.
I still haven't really had any terrible cravings for cigarettes but it's the habit of doing something that I am missing more than anything. Today I reached for my handbag to take my cigarettes out, then it dawned on me "I don't smoke anymore"!!!! It wasn't that I wanted one, I was just programmed in my mind. I'm going to the pub over the next few days I wonder if the atmosphere has changed? Have a happy holiday everyone will update soon. Still feeling determined.

I just went into the cigarette room in work, thought they would have locked it but as there are pool tables in there it is still open. But it STINKS!!!!!!!!! really smells horrible.